How easy would it be to just disappear? As the late great RJ Dio wrote “I disappeared before your eyes You never touch me you never feel me You’ll never see me again
Because I’ve just become unseen
”. But this is how I currently feel anyway. No-one talks to me, following on from my last post Do not get me wrong, I get talked at, quite a bit really, but I can not, really can not remember the last time anyone honestly, truly, meaningfully asked how I was, how I am. It is always her, how is she? Is she alright? Well she is a damn sight better than I am, thank you for asking. Maybe I hide it too well, more than likely no-one cares anyway. Has anyone even read any of my posts on Facebook, the ones written by me, not the ones posted from the news. I am only talked at when I am needed, just like a dog, I am bored, I need this, Can you do that, what does this mean? OK, go away now, well until I need to use you some more anyway.

Nothing bloody changes in my life, same old shit as when I was young, when I would be talked at by my sister when she wanted someone, anyone, to talk at. Ah Dave is there, he will do. Is it really any surprise I have difficulty in talking to people, until I get to know them. Nothing has changed at all over the last 47 years.

I need to cut the ties that bind,

So you can go away
I’m gonna leave here
I can be invisible

And go away again
I can go away
When I leave here
I can be invisible

This is what I will do using bits and pieces from the many Paths I have walked, but it will go out to the Great Spirit, the Universe. Maybe a little ritual, candle magic, Earth magic, a Mantra, which I already have, which I did last night, just another very crappy night, still awake at 03.30 hrs, this is becoming a very bad habit, 5 times over the last 8 days, but of course my Guidance will come from Mother Kaskai, my direct link to the Universe.

I will use it has a Purifying spell/Working, mind, body, and life. And there was me thinking what was Bat Medicine trying to tell me, to see in the dark? No, to see what is really there. What your eyes really see, your mind will understand, see things how they really are. Well I am now, and I must say, I am really pissed now. 47 years of being used and abused and I thought I woke up in 2010, thank you Bat Medicine and Universe for really letting me see what is really there, which is a big pile of stinking nothing, unless I am useful. Buy funny thing is I had a e-bomb in my head a few days ago telling me that the Universe was Right on track, I am where I need to be. I think this was directed to where I am now mentally, rather than location.

But I really am a fool, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. But one really had me fooled that they had changed into a decent person who gave a shit for others, well anyone but me, despite I classed them has Kith and Kin, even though they are not my blood. I will not be fooling for that again, and the Trust and Respect I had for them is now all but gone, and the longer they treat me has something they scraped off their shoe then the less Trust and Respect I will have for them, until it is all gone, and then it is all down hill from there. Will I help them when required, when asked? For the time being I will still be polite, I was brought up that way, but I will have to at least help if needed, until the ties that bind are severed. Otherwise I am just Dishonouring myself.

But I did a reading using my sigils and the reading follows below.

Self Sorrow

Direction Love

Hope Friendship

Fear Sun

Past Noise

Present Change

Future Illness

Help Trust

Hinder Grace

Influence Barren

Environment Master

Outcome Autumn/West

This was a general reading, I was not thinking of any question, because the stones tell me what I need to know, not what I need to hear anyway, but the first three tie in with what is going on at this time, has does several of the others, but a few are still confusing at this time, especially Sun, Master, and the outcome Autumn/West. But with 20/20 vision, maybe these will reveal themselves to me. I could write another song regarding this, but strangely I have already basically written this several times since the late 80’s.

So now I really am ready to “Be Invisible”

Anyway, for those interested, the full Lyrics from Dio’s Invisible, from the Holy Diver album are below.


If your circle stays unbroken
Then you’re a lucky man
‘Cause it never, never, never has for me

In the palace of the virgin
Lies the chalice of the soul
And it’s likely you might find the answer there

She had thirteen years of teenage tears
And never a helping hand
She had fourteen more of rain before
She saw the sight of land
She was a photograph just ripped in half
A smile inside a frown
And then the light, the answer right
Inside her coming down

It said
I can go away
I can leave here
I can be invisible
I go away

He was just eighteen and in-between
A lady and a man
His daddy’s girl in momma’s world
That was when he ran
You know the word confused has been abused
But that’s just what he was
And then the spark inside the dark
The answer came because it said

You can go away
You can leave here
You can be be be … Invisible

Well I grew up quick and I felt the kick
Of life upon a stage
So I bought the book and took a fast look
At just the very last page
It was a single word that I’d just heard
From the two that came before
The only way to really stay
Is to walk right out the door

So you can go away
I’m gonna leave here
I can be invisible

And go away again
I can go away
When I leave here
I can be invisible

I said, when you can go away
Lord you know it’s right to leave here
So I just become invisible
I went away
I disappeared before your eyes
You never touch me you never feel me
You’ll never see me again
Because I’ve just become unseen
Well I’m a photograph that’s been torn in half
We’re all eighteen and we’re in between
We need a helping hand to the holy land
To be invisible
To go away


Trust and Respect and Honour

They can not be brought, and they are so easily lost and once lost, almost impossible to get back.

Trust is viewed as a firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something and in this view I see Trust, especially with regards to Reliability and Truth. I only Trust maybe a handful of people, but sometimes this trust is very shaky, verging on disappearing completely, and once this happens, for me anyway, it is next to impossible for me to trust in that person any more. No this is not me whining, just giving facts of how I view the world. The ones I Trust I view as Kith and Kin, although none are related to me by blood, but saying this my blood I do not trust, and have not done for way too many years.

Respect is viewed as a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements. And again this is how I personally view it. I respect a lot more people than I trust, but again it is easy to lose my respect, just act like an ahole and moron to me or to others and you will lose my respect for you. Again my blood I do not respect in any way, shape, or form, but those I view has Kith and Kin I unreservedly view with Respect.

Does it matter if I lose Trust and Respect in you? This I can not and will not answer, only you, dear reader, can answer if that will make any difference to you either now or in the future, and unless you are very psychic and you can see the future how will you know if my lack of Trust and Respect towards you will be an effect. Most of my Kith and Kin are not tied to me in anyway, neither through marriage nor blood, but only through time and understanding and acceptance of both them and their acceptance of me.

But do not get me wrong here, as this is important, treat me like shit and see where it gets you, as others have found out to their cost and determinant. I do not suffer fools gladly, and though it may seem like I am so laid back as to be almost asleep, I will bite back, has one as found out more than once, this is what happens when I lose Respect and Trust in someone. If I have offered help unreservedly then I will help, regardless of the lack of trust or respect, especially if I have given my Word on this, but I will only do what is required to save harm coming to you. If I have not given my Word then, hell, you will be shit out of luck, your mess, deal with it yourself, not interested at all, regardless of who you were once in my life. But if there were conditions attached to my offer of help, as sometimes I will do this, and you change and thus the conditions are null and void, again, you will be shit out of luck.

And before you start whining that “this is directed at Me”, why would it be? Are you that vain as to view everything as at you, unless the Gods/Universe have told you that, yes you have fucked up totally and this is aimed at you, no it is a statement of account of how I view the world and those two small words which are bounded around by everybody.

There is another small word, more of a whisper, which most people really understand less than the other two words, and this word is Honour, and this is strongly, for me, tied with both of the other two words. And if I give my Honour to someone, which is as rare as me giving my Word then take it that I Trust and Respect you unreservedly and I would do almost anything for you. But it is even easier to lose.