Invisible

How easy would it be to just disappear? As the late great RJ Dio wrote “I disappeared before your eyes You never touch me you never feel me You’ll never see me again
Because I’ve just become unseen
”. But this is how I currently feel anyway. No-one talks to me, following on from my last post https://grendaliskingsite.wordpress.com/2017/09/12/trust-and-respect-and-honour/. Do not get me wrong, I get talked at, quite a bit really, but I can not, really can not remember the last time anyone honestly, truly, meaningfully asked how I was, how I am. It is always her, how is she? Is she alright? Well she is a damn sight better than I am, thank you for asking. Maybe I hide it too well, more than likely no-one cares anyway. Has anyone even read any of my posts on Facebook, the ones written by me, not the ones posted from the news. I am only talked at when I am needed, just like a dog, I am bored, I need this, Can you do that, what does this mean? OK, go away now, well until I need to use you some more anyway.

Nothing bloody changes in my life, same old shit as when I was young, when I would be talked at by my sister when she wanted someone, anyone, to talk at. Ah Dave is there, he will do. Is it really any surprise I have difficulty in talking to people, until I get to know them. Nothing has changed at all over the last 47 years.

I need to cut the ties that bind,

So you can go away
I’m gonna leave here
I can be invisible

And go away again
I can go away
When I leave here
I can be invisible

This is what I will do using bits and pieces from the many Paths I have walked, but it will go out to the Great Spirit, the Universe. Maybe a little ritual, candle magic, Earth magic, a Mantra, which I already have, which I did last night, just another very crappy night, still awake at 03.30 hrs, this is becoming a very bad habit, 5 times over the last 8 days, but of course my Guidance will come from Mother Kaskai, my direct link to the Universe.

I will use it has a Purifying spell/Working, mind, body, and life. And there was me thinking what was Bat Medicine https://grendaliskingsite.wordpress.com/2017/08/27/batty-visitors/ trying to tell me, to see in the dark? No, to see what is really there. What your eyes really see, your mind will understand, see things how they really are. Well I am now, and I must say, I am really pissed now. 47 years of being used and abused and I thought I woke up in 2010, thank you Bat Medicine and Universe for really letting me see what is really there, which is a big pile of stinking nothing, unless I am useful. Buy funny thing is I had a e-bomb in my head https://grendaliskingsite.wordpress.com/2016/05/25/next-life-or-last-life/ a few days ago telling me that the Universe was Right on track, I am where I need to be. I think this was directed to where I am now mentally, rather than location.

But I really am a fool, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. But one really had me fooled that they had changed into a decent person who gave a shit for others, well anyone but me, despite I classed them has Kith and Kin, even though they are not my blood. I will not be fooling for that again, and the Trust and Respect I had for them is now all but gone, and the longer they treat me has something they scraped off their shoe then the less Trust and Respect I will have for them, until it is all gone, and then it is all down hill from there. Will I help them when required, when asked? For the time being I will still be polite, I was brought up that way, but I will have to at least help if needed, until the ties that bind are severed. Otherwise I am just Dishonouring myself.

But I did a reading using my sigils and the reading follows below.

Self Sorrow

Direction Love

Hope Friendship

Fear Sun

Past Noise

Present Change

Future Illness

Help Trust

Hinder Grace

Influence Barren

Environment Master

Outcome Autumn/West

This was a general reading, I was not thinking of any question, because the stones tell me what I need to know, not what I need to hear anyway, but the first three tie in with what is going on at this time, has does several of the others, but a few are still confusing at this time, especially Sun, Master, and the outcome Autumn/West. But with 20/20 vision, maybe these will reveal themselves to me. I could write another song regarding this, but strangely I have already basically written this several times since the late 80’s.

So now I really am ready to “Be Invisible”

Anyway, for those interested, the full Lyrics from Dio’s Invisible, from the Holy Diver album are below.

“Invisible”

If your circle stays unbroken
Then you’re a lucky man
‘Cause it never, never, never has for me

In the palace of the virgin
Lies the chalice of the soul
And it’s likely you might find the answer there

She had thirteen years of teenage tears
And never a helping hand
She had fourteen more of rain before
She saw the sight of land
She was a photograph just ripped in half
A smile inside a frown
And then the light, the answer right
Inside her coming down

It said
I can go away
I can leave here
I can be invisible
I go away

He was just eighteen and in-between
A lady and a man
His daddy’s girl in momma’s world
That was when he ran
You know the word confused has been abused
But that’s just what he was
And then the spark inside the dark
The answer came because it said

You can go away
You can leave here
You can be be be … Invisible

Well I grew up quick and I felt the kick
Of life upon a stage
So I bought the book and took a fast look
At just the very last page
It was a single word that I’d just heard
From the two that came before
The only way to really stay
Is to walk right out the door

So you can go away
I’m gonna leave here
I can be invisible

And go away again
I can go away
When I leave here
I can be invisible

I said, when you can go away
Lord you know it’s right to leave here
So I just become invisible
I went away
I disappeared before your eyes
You never touch me you never feel me
You’ll never see me again
Because I’ve just become unseen
Well I’m a photograph that’s been torn in half
We’re all eighteen and we’re in between
We need a helping hand to the holy land
To be invisible
To go away

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Batty Visitors

https://i2.wp.com/ichef.bbci.co.uk/naturelibrary/images/ic/credit/640x395/c/co/common_noctule/common_noctule_1.jpg

OK it has been awhile since I have written on here, and while my life is going through hell my Path has been quite quiet of late, with no major email bombs going off in my mind, but last night, about 2045 I suddenly thought about the bat that sometimes visits the back garden. I have not thought about her for many years but suddenly I needed to go outside and see if she was there. I roll a cigarette and stood in the back door looking at the stars which had started to show up and then she was there, flashing past curving and diving and off again, then she came back, with a friend and it was so great to see them both chasing moths and each other.

But what does it mean for me? Bat Medicine. Bats use sonar to see in the dark, it helps them to really see what is there and what is not there, because eyes, mind and heart can deceive the hell out of us humans. Bat Medicine is different for me to Owl Medicine. This morning I wake up and I do have more clarity within my heart and Kai (soul) and my mind. I can see what is real and what is not. I am not sure of the species of bat has they seem larger than the images of the common pipistrelle, but they were flying and it was dark.

Do not get me wrong, I have never been afraid of the dark, within and outside, but someone or something is telling me that I need to really look at my life, heart, mind and kai, and see what is really there.

 

Networking with the Gods

I have mine, regardless if some of you think I am wrong, and you have yours, which I fully accept, but most of us pray to Someone/something, this is the basics of what we are now, and have been since we became aware of our place in the cosmos.

In 1986, after I left school, which was a Christian School, I began to question my Faith, something did not quite feel right, something did not add up for me. I drifted in and out of different Faiths and paths, trying many, including the Dark side. Through Norse, with Reverence to Odin, the All Father, where I was being taught by a Runic Warrior. But every time I Called upon Odin for council I got a massive headache, more akin to a migraine behind my Right eye. But after a year or so I was told that it was not the right way for me. In 1994 I had my first Shamanic Vision, within a dream, with the end result being I thought my end was coming, but for obvious reasons it was not my end.  I have been Shaman Based since although the Spirits may change sometimes.

But several nights ago I had cause to call Odin again for council, but how should I proceed? I know him, I have worked with him, but he is not of my Path. Then another e-mail bomb in my mind and I knew what I had to do.

After Hilary had gone to bed, and all was quiet I focused and called upon Fildas, Goddess of Shaman works. I asked Her if Odin would give me council, as I need His advice, and within seconds the massive headache was there, so I knew it was Odin.

Continue reading Networking with the Gods

Next life, or last life?

Ok so I am writing again, from a flash of a thought, like an e-mail going off in my mind, so we know where this came from, but here goes.

I die, everything dies, hell even the Universe will die at some point, nothing lasts forever, but that is the point of life, of being, that is the whole reason, well in my book anyway. But what happens when I die? That is the question.

Option 1 My Queen decides that I have learned my Life Lesson and allows me onwards to the Otherworld, until the end of Time, thus this may be what most will think I mean by Last Life in the title.

Option 2 My Queen decides that I have not learned my Life Lesson and sends me back to the Underworld where I will be “reprocessed” and sent back here. Now I know these are Facts as far as I am concerned, but this is what I mean by the title. Where will I end up?

Time is a Human Concept, being into Archaeology and History I understand this concept well, but on the Otherside of Life, does time exist? Past, Present, Future, or just Now (everywhen). Could this be why we see Ghosts, flashes from another Time, granted always in older fashions and never in Future Fashions, but When would I come back, and has the year 30,000 A.D. already happened, but it is just that we, with our concept of time, can not comprehend such ideas.

Continue reading Next life, or last life?

Native Irish – Shaman Based, My Faith

Ok so I have written elsewhere on this subject, what is Native Irish – Shaman Based? But it changes slightly as I learn about myself and the Gods.

I pray to the Old Pre-Christian Gods (see Gods/Goddesses) of Ireland, with particular reverence to Ulster rather than the other 3 Provinces in Erin, simply because my bloodline is from Ulster on my Mothers side, Father unknown, so I do not count that line. Along with them I also give regards to the Great Spirits, mainly from my people, but also one from the Americas, I know why, but She chose me a long time ago.

The Divine
Danu/Anu/Tailtu Great Spirit Mother Creator, Mother Earth.
Morrigan Divine Great Fairy (Fae) Queen of Ulster. She who will judge me when I die, My Queen.
Brid/Bridget/Bride Goddess of the Land, Crafts, Fertility (of mind and body), Music.
Mananas God of the Sea, God of the Shamanic Journey, He who will take me the the Otherworld or the Underworld.
Labraid God of the Underworld, He who will decide my return, and as what, Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, and the lesson I must learn this time.
Fildas Goddess of the Wild places, Wild Animals, Goddess of Shape- shifting, Guide on the Journey of the Shaman.
Suz A Goddess of my own device, created by Brid, Morrigan and Danu who created a storm which fused the music Brid was playing, and charged it with electric, My Goddess of Rock music and song-writing. Always helpful when I call upon her when I am had pushed to finish a song or get the words right.

Continue reading Native Irish – Shaman Based, My Faith